So Lisa V. attempted to treat some underprivileged kids to the complete SUR experience on Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 7.

And you can guess how well that went. Meanwhile, Jax meddled in one relationship, while making a jarring request regarding his own …

James sat down for a meal with his mother at Sur, and she seemed delightful.  

We were finally able to understand the root of James’ rage, as he and his mother spoke about her impending divorce from James’ dad after 24 years.  The couple knew Lisa and Ken from London, which is most likely why he’s both bussing table at SUR and spinning them records in the DJ booth. 

However, for someone who is so lovely to his mother, you would think James would have more respect for the ladies.  

I understand that Kristen is coo coo for Cocoa Puffs, but that’s no reason to call her ratchet, tell her she’ll divorce even if she does manage to get married, and then spit on her door.

For shame, James.

I’d like to say that I appreciate that Jax is sticking up for Kristen, but there’s probably an ulterior motive here.  Jax isn’t that nice or loyal.  

I wonder if Brittany brought her resume with her to LA this time…

Sandoval and Schmidt should stick to their day jobs forever, because they have no place in grown-up land.  

The Peter Pan syndrome is real with these two, who ultimately walked away from LVP Sangria as shot girls/interns.   They don’t want to work Mon-Fri, 9-5.  

They want to sleep until noon on a Wednesday then hit the gym!  

They want to be Bravolebrities and help promote Universal films!

Mmk, can we take a moment to ask Ariana why she is so damn cranky?  First Sandoval made a batch of cocktails for the dinner, and that did not please Ariana.

Then, Peter came over to invite Sandoval to his boys-only birthday party in Vegas.  This also did not please Ariana.  Not only because it’s a day after her own birthday, but because she hates male-only vacations.

“I get to sit home and do absolutely nothing.  That’s not fun for me,” she whined.

“I really, really hate heteronormative fu–ing bullsh–.  And you’re not going to tell me ‘this is a guy’s thing.  This is a girl’s thing.'”

I’m not certain that Ariana used “heteronormative” in the right context, but she’s being very Stassi/Scheana about her birthday.

And that’s all she wrote this week. As always, you can watch Vanderpump Rules online to experience the awesome terribleness in full.