Chris Brown is allegedly offering Justin Bieber some dating advice that he probably thinks can’t be beat.

Get it? Beat? Because Chris Brown totally beat up and bludgeoned Rihanna a few years ago and the concept of him offering anyone dating advice is hilarious at best… and disturbing at worst?

Anyway. We digress.

According to an anonymous Hollywood Life insider, Bieber is very distressed over recent photos of Selena Gomez looking very comfortable with Orlando Bloom.

Could the singer actually be hooking up with the actor, despite his ongoing relationship with Katy Perry?

It’s unlikely.

But that doesn’t make it any more pleasant for Justin to see photos of his very serious ex-girlfriend cozying up to Bloom.

What is a lonely artist to do? How is Bieber going to win Gomez back?

Chris Brown supposedly knows!

“Chris told JB not to trip on Selena and Orlando,” Hollywood Life writes.

“He explained to Biebs that Selena’s only trying to make him jealous because she’s truly in love with him and wants his attention 24-7.”

This may be true. Gomez may have even written a new song with Bieber in mind.

But it’s even more true that Chris Brown once bloodied the face of his girlfriend with his fists and likely should not be relied on for dating advice.

“He told Justin not to say anything about the pics on social media and under no circumstances is he to call Selena,” the source adds.

“The first one who calls loses.

“Justin was really upset about the pics and jealous, but Breezy got him together quickly and told him not to show his cards and to take his advice and ignore the situation.”

Bieber and Brown have been friends for a long time… for reasons that defy comprehension.

Heck, this isn’t even the first time Brown has offered Bieber advice for winning back Gomez.

Just a few days ago, meanwhile, Bieber wished his violent pal a happy birthday via the following photo on Instagram:

How adorable, right?

We’d say that Bieber is setting a bad example for his young fans by associating with a known woman beater and someone who has clear anger issues.

But Bieber doesn’t really care about his fans.

He just made that pretty darn obvious.