Nothing causes marital strife like flatulence.
Such is the case for Kim Kardashian and her farty-pants knight in shining armor, Kanye West.
The rapper has a consistent issue controlling his gas, and Kardashian is being “slowly driven mad” by the stench.
“Kim wakes up in the middle of the night and the whole room stinks, she says it’s like methane gas it’s so bad,” a source told OK! Magazine.
“She’s tried everything from lighting incense to scented candles, but nothing cuts through Kanye’s gas, which Kim says is so disgusting it’s not even describable.”
West reportedly doesn’t treat his body like a temple, and loves to eat crap that ends up smelling like, well, crap after it’s been digested.
“His diet is so bad, it’s like he has no control of his bowels when he comes to bed.”
Kardashian is trying to get him to change his eating habits, but she’s also said to be considering “alternate methods” to make their bedroom not smell like death wrapped in a dirty diaper.
“It’s reached the stage where Kim’s considering sleeping with her own breathing mask.”
Aside from this being on of the most entertaining story I’ve read in months, the thought of Kardashian going to bed with a gas mask has me banging my head against the keyboard I’m laughing so hard.
The causes of smelly gas can range from lactose and/or gluten intolerance to indigestion, and even a digestive tract infection.
According to enkivillage.com, Kardashian should try feeding West fennel seeds, which efficiently eradicate smelly farts within 5-10 minutes.
Other remedies include ginger, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon and pepper mint.
Kardashian should send Kris Jenner on a Costco run while she tries to tear the junk food out of her husband’s hands.
Better yet, have North West sit in a room with her dad for a few hours.
Kids are super-honest, and North will give it to Yeezy straight that his gas is RANK.