Look out, world, Charlie Sheen is talking again.

The controversial (some prefer the term “batsh*t crazy”) actor garnered public sympathy last year when he revealed he was HIV positive during a candid interview with Matt Lauer.

Now, it appears that a return to the screw-everything-that-walks lifestyle that got him in this position has proven difficult.

“I’m not dating, I’m spending a lot of time with my family. Right now I couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison with a handful of condoms,” he said during a press conference, according to The Mirror.

“It doesn’t give me a great opening line: ‘Hey, I’ve got HIV – busy later?'” he continued.

Well, he has a point.

But the man has probably had enough sex to last a lifetime, dontcha think? More like 30 lifetimes?

“It is what it is, and I don’t want to make light of it, but it changes the whole approach on it, because it’s no longer about my interests and my folly, it’s about the other person, it’s about protecting them and just being open and responsible.”

Hmm, shouldn’t it always be about that?

Sorry, but it’s hard to feel bad for you, Charlie.

While he’s not currently seeing anyone, Sheen revealed that he test drove a new, superpowered condom from Sweden. With whom, it is unclear.

“In a nut shell, they sent me one, I tried it and said, ‘Let’s do this,'” he said.

“It’s exciting on so many levels, it’s the first change to the condom in 70 years,” he revealed. “It’s not just about changing in dialogue, it’s about changing the conversation and the appeal.”

During the interview with Lauer, Sheen insisted that he’s been up front about his status with all his sexual partners, but reports have surfaced that call his claim into question.

In fact, sources say Sheen hid his HIV status from a number of sexual partners – a crime in the state of California – and is currently being investigated by the LAPD.