Thus far, 2017 hasn’t been nearly as brutal as 2016 in terms of celebrity deaths, but it seems one legend has left us without much fanfare.
You may not know the name Leslie Ray Charping, but after reading his daughter Shiela’s obituary, you’ll likely never forget her take on his life.
Here’s the text in its entirety, originally published by Carnes Funeral Home in Houston, Texas:
“Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping was born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.
“Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.
“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.
“Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges.”
Believe it or not, it gets worse:
“While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.
“Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes.
“Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned.”
Um … at least he had hobbies?
Not surprisingly, Les won’t be receiving much of a send-off:
“Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.
“With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologies to the family he tortured.
“Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until “Ray”, the family donkey’s wood shavings run out. Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.”
Okay, so clearly ol’ Les wasn’t much of a husband or father, but Shiela’s scathing obit has turned him into something of an overnight Internet sensation.
Like, Harambe before him, Leslie’s posthumous time in the sun probably won’t last long, but it seems his daughter is enjoying the fact that he’s being subjected to a final (arguably well-deserved) humiliation:
“I told the truth. I am not sorry for telling the truth, and I am not sorry for standing up for myself,” she told a local news station.
“For someone that knew him and family members that knew him and to see something on there that was a complete lie would’ve been an insult to everyone that he did bad things to.”
The funeral home decided to delete the obituary after the spike in traffic caused their website to crash.
Sounds like the not-so-dearly departed is still making trouble from beyond the grave.