Catherine Middleton is a mother and a princess, but back in the day, she had a school nickname when she attended St. Andrews in Pangbourne, Berkshire.
And no, she wasn’t known as “The Duchess” or even “Kate.”
This one was a little weirder.
Apparently, that was the name of one of the school guinea pigs.
The other was named “Pip.”
Get it? Pip and Squeak?
Because tough guys on old cartoons called people pipsqueaks.
Since Pippa Middleton was called “Pip” after the other, we think that we understand how the nicknames came about.
Which means that poor Kate Middleton was just, like, collateral damage for her sister’s nickname.
First of all, we don’t know what sort of school has school pets.
Like, the high school on Buffy The Vampire Slayer had a pet pig as a sort of mascot … but he got eaten.
By Paul Rudd. … Long story.
But we guess that these guinea pigs were more like class pets, which aren’t so unusual here in the States.
We had our share of class fish and at least one class hamster in elementary school, though they were provided by the teachers.
We guess that private British schools that future princesses attend just have school pets.
That’s just a guess, though, since most of what we know about the British schooling system was gleamed from reading between the lines in Harry Potter.
For all that we know, Kate could have had other, less flattering nicknames growing up.
Unlike “Squeak,” maybe they weren’t the sorts that she’d choose to share in a visit to her old school.
But … we could see her as having never had a nasty nickname.
She’s notoriously kind and she’s also stunningly gorgeous.
Sure, nowadays Kate gets accused of parenting fails like every other celebrity, but it’s easy to imagine her having been well-liked in school.
Though … possibly privately resented by more than a few classmates.
I grew up with the name “Simon,” so I’m no stranger to nicknames.
Honestly, “Squeak” is about as benign as they come.
You could 100% reach or watch, like, a fantasy story where one of the main characters is named Squeak.
They’d probably be a thief or a mouse or something, but still.
And, as far as ways of getting a nickname are concerned, “association with your sister’s innocuous nickname” isn’t a bad way to get one.
Better than having your most humiliating moment immortalized in a nickname, for example.
But while we don’t know what good sharing that anecdote with students at her old stomping grounds will do, it was probably neat for them to see her.
Even if, like so many of the British people, some of those students support the abolition of the monarchy.